Rest In Peace Aunt V

so my aunt veronica, was diagnosed with cancer just last month. and unfournately when they found it, it was already to advanced to go for treatment, which sucked donkey balls...
it was only on weds that she had gone into a coma. and straight after school i balik kampung and went to the hospital to see her; it was horrible to see sucha beauitful lady suffer the way she did. I was there all evening and around 9:20, her heart beat started to decrease from a normal heat beart of 140 went down all the way to 40 within minutes. come 9:40, she had flatlined already.

REST IN PEACE AUNT V!!! I MISS AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

its been a pretty rough week, and i know i couldnt have made it through without my friends, so i wanna post a shoutout to my friends you know who you are (mr mustapha, tiara)

!Dipped Fortune Cookie says:
whatcha doind
Screaming Infidelities says:
hahaha yeahh..
Screaming Infidelities says:
umm
Screaming Infidelities says:
updating my blog
Screaming Infidelities says:
and listening to msuic
!Dipped Fortune Cookie says:
my name better be DAMN ASS IN IT

yes your name is in it. Even for someone who happens to be in a different state/country she hasnt let me down since, i know im able to trust her with my life cause thats just the type of person she is. shes an amazing friend and i love her for that. Nisa baby, your amazing!
thank you. seriously. i couldnt have done this without you. <333

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you...

learning to fall

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes, after that, you'd better know something. I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do. I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important, it's what they do about it. I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides. I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think. I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be the last time you see them. I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned that sometimes I just need to be held. I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice. I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it. I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I've learned that my best friends and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance, same goes for true love. I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it. I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to. I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions. I've learned that it takes years to build up trust and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer. I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever. I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I've learned that you cannot make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can be loved, the rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love. I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life. I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control. I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them the most. I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can erase emotional pains. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meanings, it loses value when overly used. I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe

those are just some lessons ive learnt along the way.

ehhhh ehhhhh kambang lah go sleep bah ehhhh ehhhh

Soooooooo. Nisa was in kk, awesome? i think so too! she was here for 4 days and it was good having her here. SERIOUSLY!!! Nisa, if your reading this you have got to come back soon k? we all miss you already! =(

Piccies:


Nisaaaaaa & Ian


they played the clapping game..

NYAHAHHAHAHA....

Nisaaa & White Boy

???

awwww, wat loving couple

sexy man.. HAHA.. right.

Tim "chatting up" Nisa

he shooots...

HE SCORESSSSSS! =P

tim thinks hes flying while raymond thinks hes a sexy model.

whose up for some live porn?

gay boys.

the gang.

its my drunken husband; Rich

the whiteboy



the angle was bad.. >_<"

me & ian in the car..

MY BABY =P

IAN. GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY CAR YOU BITCH.

Nisaaaa

Timmy being the gay boy he is.

nyahaha?

UP THE NOSE.

hahaha, she soooo stoned.

Poor Nisa, didnt wanna be seen with ian (its pretty obvious why)

BURGER KING OWNS!

tired of crying..

they say crying is the best emotional release. but does it have a limit? are puffy red eyes a sign telling you to stop? i myself am very tired of crying. ive become an emotional wreck within the last 24 hours and i find myself hopeless. ive been listening to delta goodrem to help me cope with the rush of emotions. but ill just end up crying again..

i hope my "emo-ness" doesnt last for too long.. i cant help but feel like an idiot when confessing my sob story to my friends.. but i can only do so much by thanking them for sticking around to listen to me.. =]

so hopefully after this post, im not gonna some emo wreck and decrease the amount of litres of water produced from my eyes..
and for the record.


i still HATE cancer.

Are you swimming upstream in oceans of blue? Do you feel like your sinking? Are you sick of the rain after all you've been through? Well I know what you're thinking When you can't take it You can make it Sometime soon I know you'll see 'cause when your in you're darkest hour And all of the light just fades away When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray Well hang on and be strong Where taking each step one day at a time You can't loose your spirit Let live and let live forget and forgive It's all how you see it And just remember keep it together Don't you know you're never alone 'cause when you're in your darkest hour And all of the light just fades away When you're like a single flower whose colours have turned to shades of gray Well hang on, and be strong No you're not defeated And soon you'll be smiling once again Then you won't have to feel it Let it go with the wind Time passes us by And know that you're allowed to cry..

as tiara posted on her xanga.. there will always be moments in life that'll be worth going through the pain,moments worth living for.

oh a big shoutout to tiara, emily & nisa thank you guys.
tiara especially. i know you yourself got probs of your own. im always here to listen to yours too.. but from my heart. thanks. =] it means alot.

incurable heartaches

Cancer is a disease characterized by a population of cells that grow and divide without respect to normal limits, invade and destroy adjacent tissues, and may spread to distant anatomic sites through a process called metastasis. These malignant properties of cancers differentiate them from benign tumors, which are self-limited in their growth and do not invade or metastasize (although some benign tumor types are capable of becoming malignant). Cancer may affect people at all ages, but risk for the more common varieties tends to increase with age. Cancer causes about 13% of all deaths.

Thats wikipedias explanation of cancer.. my response?

I HATE CANCER

Today i just found out, my aunt has been diagnosed with advanced breast cancer, because of the stage its in, there is no cure. My family has a long history of cancer, and i hate it. its all fucking genetic. fuck i could have cancer and im really anxious to go for testing.

anyways; i cried today watching the princess diana concert. specially during the song "I'll Be Missing You" - P. Diddy. it reminded me of the ones i already have lost to cancer... specially my uncle. he meant the world to me. it hurts knowing that he is no longer here, it really does.

I MISS YOU UNCLE GHANI.
I miss everyone whose moved on...

this song is for all of you~

seems like yesterday we used to rock the show I laced the track, you locked the flow So far from hangin on the block for dough Notorious, they got to know that Life aint always what it seem to be (uh-uh) Words cant express what you mean to me Even though youre gone, we still a team Through your family, Ill fulfill your dream (thats right) In the future, cant wait to see If you open up the gates for me Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend (uh-huh) Try to black it out, but it plays again When its real, feelings hard to conceal Cant imagine all the pain I feel Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath) I know you still living your life, after death

Every step I take, every move I make Every single day, every time I pray Ill be missing you Thinkin of the day, when you went away What a life to take, what a bond to break Ill be missing you

Its kinda hard with you not around (yeah) Know you in heaven smilin down (eheh) Watchin us while we pray for you Every day we pray for you Til the day we meet again In my heart is where Ill keep you friend Memories give me the strength I need (uh-huh) to proceed Strength I need to believe My thoughts big I just cant define (cant define) Wish I could turn back the hands of time Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks You and me taking flicks Makin hits, stages they receive you onI still cant believe youre gone (cant believe youre gone) Give anything to hear half your breath (half your breath) I know you still living youre life, after death.

Seri Insan Bazaar

So we had our school bazaar yesterday... the number of people that came was good. but was dissapointing when not many people from Maktab Nasional came... besides that, the performances were really good, well done to the band!!! ill post the videos up soon... andd wellll, in conclusion. turned out to be a pretty awesome day.. even though after the bazaar we didnt get to watch transformers cause it was sold out til late... still had fun with everyone...ended up in tiaras house and that was my day.




we had a elephant ride..

chloe on the elephant..it was a really cute elephant.

le band! a bit blury

bryan

yazid and joshrin

timmy

sharmane and sharon

Jeremiah..yes he is armed and those bullets really hurt. i got shot a no. of times.

adam & joshrin

me and gordon..

me and sharmane

chang sisters

me and shirleyyy

adam and joshrin

in the car on the way to cp..

aizad and tim

in the lift =P

us @ burger king.

me on the floor in tiaras laughing at god knows what.


For vids of the band check out my profile on youtube!
CLICK HERE!